Getting my sh*t together
The general theme of this post? Me attempting to get my life together. Anxiety has been front and center, and instead of making it my sworn enemy, I’m trying to befriend it. Enter: The DARE Method. I read about this approach in another anxiety book last year and promptly forgot about it. But this book? It’s entirely dedicated to the method, and let me tell you, I’ve only read two chapters, and my brain is already being rewired.
Health Anxiety & the POTS Spiral
For at least the past two years (okay, probably three), health anxiety has had me in a chokehold, leading to full-blown panic attacks and excessive self-diagnosing.
On Sunday, my mom randomly asks, “Hey, do you think you have POTS?” because she saw something about vaccines and their possible side effects. Of course, my health anxiety-ridden brain was like, “Oh yeah, I’ve been convinced I have POTS for two years.” Naturally, I spiraled into a TikTok and Google rabbit hole, where my entire For You page became POTS Awareness 101. Within minutes, I was certain—I definitely had it. It felt validating, almost comforting, to have something to attach my symptoms to. But then, the relief turned into fear. I didn't want this diagnosis.
Monday at work, my thoughts were on a never-ending loop: I have POTS. I have POTS. I have POTS. Every little sensation? POTS. Every twinge? Blood pooling. Blood pressure dropping. Certain doom. Then, I read that POTS isn’t actually a cardiovascular disease—it’s more of an autoimmune thing. Somehow, that gave me a fleeting sense of peace. However, by lunchtime, I was back to spiraling.
By Tuesday, I had a nasty allergy attack, didn’t sleep, and had to go to the doctor. Which, as someone with health anxiety, is ironic because I hate going to the doctor. My last cardiologist visit was eight months ago, and even though I felt fine, I still had an absolute meltdown in the waiting room. Full panic attack, convinced I was about to drop dead.
When I finally got called back, my blood pressure was fine (shocker), but my cardiologist basically said, “You’re fine. Keep doing what you’re doing. Eat healthy fats. We can lower your propranolol dose.” And I was like, cool, thanks for the worst three hours of my life. That experience left me terrified of doctor visits, which is why I was dreading Tuesday’s appointment.
But let me tell you, God was looking out for me. The nurse took my blood pressure so flawlessly, I could’ve kissed her. And guess what? My blood pressure wasn’t low. A key symptom of POTS is blood pressure dropping when standing up, but mine? Mine was fine. Meaning? I don’t actually have POTS—I just have a mix of IST and anxiety. Once that clicked, I felt a wave of clarity.
Breaking Out of Laziness
Let’s be honest—I’ve been lazy. Not in a "I deserve to rest" kind of way, but in a "I am avoiding responsibility and basic hygiene" way. I’ve been stuck in this cycle of saying, I’ll start tomorrow, and then suddenly it’s been six months and my life still feels chaotic.
I haven’t been consistent with my routines, my workouts have been nonexistent, and my to-do list has been collecting dust. The weird part? I know what I need to do. I know I feel better when I take care of myself, yet I keep letting myself slide into bad habits. But no more. It’s time to get back on track.
Leaning on God & Embracing This Season
This season of my life is about me. It’s about becoming the woman God has created me to be, and I refuse to let the wrong person pull me away from that. I want to feel confident in myself first—mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
I’ve been leaning on God more, trying to focus on the present instead of anxiously chasing the future. Because honestly? I will never be satisfied if I don’t learn how to find joy in the now. I don’t want to wake up in five years realizing I wasted this season waiting for the next. So, I’m choosing to be intentional, to embrace where I am, and to trust that God’s timing is always better than mine.
Reinventing Myself
This whole process has me realizing—I need to get my life together. Not just in a “cute self-care” way but in a deep, stop-living-like-this kind of way.
Burnout? Yeah, I’ve been saying I’m burnt out for like… three years now. Working full-time in commercial construction, mentally draining long hours, school on top of it, zero rest techniques, and garbage coping mechanisms. I’ve been stuck in this fight-or-flight cycle for too long, and it’s time to break it.
So here’s to actually prioritizing my mental health, re-learning how to rest, and finally stepping out of this cycle. If you also struggle with anxiety, read The DARE Method—10/10 recommend. And if you're feeling stuck, just know you’re not alone.
The Game Plan
So, here’s what I’m doing to actually take care of myself:
Night routines are back: I used to skip steps and rush through my night, but now I’m making it a ritual. Skincare, a long shower, dry brushing, lymphatic drainage, gua sha—it’s a full experience. Taking care of my body before bed helps me wind down and reminds me that I deserve to treat myself with kindness.
Actually working out when I get home, not just thinking about it: I’ve spent too much time telling myself that thinking about working out is just as good as doing it. Spoiler: it’s not. Even if it’s just 20 minutes of movement, I’m committing to showing up for myself and building consistency.
Prioritizing real rest—not just scrolling TikTok and calling it a break: I’ve been mistaking distraction for rest, and there’s a huge difference. Instead of endless scrolling, I’m making time for things that genuinely recharge me—reading, journaling, painting, or just sitting in stillness.
Making anxiety my friend and making it work for me: Anxiety isn’t going anywhere, so I might as well learn to work with it. Deep breathing, grounding exercises, and journaling are all in the toolbox now.
Leaning on God more instead of letting my anxiety run the show: Prayer, scripture, and stillness. I’m making space to listen instead of just talking and rushing through life. God’s timing is better than mine, and I need to remind myself of that daily.
Listening to my body instead of ignoring the signals it’s sending me: If I need to rest, I rest. If I need to move, I move. If I need to hydrate, I actually drink the damn water. My body knows what it needs; I just have to stop overriding it with stress.
Giving myself grace—because healing isn’t linear, and I’m allowed to have bad days: Progress isn’t perfect. I’m done being mean to myself on the hard days. If all I do is survive the day, that’s still enough.
No Men: This season is about me. I’m focusing on becoming the woman God has planned for me, and I refuse to let the wrong energy pull me away from that.
Getting my hormones in check: Restarting birth control and adding B-complex vitamins for extra mood stability. It’s time to work with my body, not against it.
It’s not about being perfect, just about being better than I was yesterday. It’s about showing up for myself every single day, even when I don’t feel like it.
Sending love to my fellow anxiety girlies 💕
